talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
