yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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