im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
