I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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