I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Vodka?
Forever.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
