so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
