Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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