My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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