he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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