"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm just crazy horny about you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
