handjob tips. give me some.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
God, I missed his penis.
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