took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
