He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
