Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
