when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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