Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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