Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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