I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This house was built for laser tag.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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