Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
