I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
