One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
