Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I love you.
Bad choice
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
