i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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