addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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