remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
