I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I supernannyed him into submission
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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