...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
