Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
