I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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