Texts From Last Night

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  (752): View more from California

  What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?

  (209): View more from California

  I think the two go hand in hand.

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  (752): What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall? (209): I think the two go hand in hand. http://tfl.nu/xxhp
  Replies (73) Good night (1096) Bad night (5974)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.

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  (425): I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning. http://tfl.nu/lhtu
  Replies (54) Good night (3768) Bad night (942)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe he just has a boisterous penis

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  (203): Maybe he just has a boisterous penis http://tfl.nu/s2rt
  Replies (17) Good night (3391) Bad night (819)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his

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  (404): there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his http://tfl.nu/p9g4
  Replies (45) Good night (741) Bad night (6171)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!

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  (719): Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?! http://tfl.nu/aect
  Replies (111) Good night (1823) Bad night (7938)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?

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  (515): you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night? http://tfl.nu/cew2
  Replies (17) Good night (3978) Bad night (1242)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face

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  (606): I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face http://tfl.nu/ob2s
  Replies (5) Good night (1182) Bad night (2217)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.

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  (503): Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands. http://tfl.nu/rsji
  Replies (12) Good night (2499) Bad night (615)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls

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  (814): iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls http://tfl.nu/7ylt
  Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (508)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?

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  (519): Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is? http://tfl.nu/qsbg
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (576)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.

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  (541): I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night. http://tfl.nu/uir8
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (356)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...

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  (580): Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass... http://tfl.nu/ix5i
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (410)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.

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  (201): If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses. http://tfl.nu/91v1
  Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.

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  (250): It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt. http://tfl.nu/flxk
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy

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  (205): Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies. (1-205): I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy http://tfl.nu/dpsc
  Replies (4) Good night (342) Bad night (176)

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