Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I hate having morals and standards the next morning. http://tfl.nu/3tqs
  Replies (9) Good night (2844) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job http://tfl.nu/ruqn
  Replies (13) Good night (3998) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz
  Replies (28) Good night (5286) Bad night (2405)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it. http://tfl.nu/80hm
  Replies (9) Good night (2475) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means. http://tfl.nu/mq55
  Replies (10) Good night (3526) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on. http://tfl.nu/djzq
  Replies (10) Good night (3794) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  it is a toga and you are a goddess.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted (1-615): it is a toga and you are a goddess. http://tfl.nu/2t04
  Replies (15) Good night (5013) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake. http://tfl.nu/5qrv
  Replies (8) Good night (1961) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord. http://tfl.nu/2tip
  Replies (9) Good night (485) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys http://tfl.nu/cvux
  Replies (1) Good night (1198) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me http://tfl.nu/5vfc
  Replies (5) Good night (1188) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer http://tfl.nu/w9ex
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps. (971): Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi? http://tfl.nu/bulj
  Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.

  (714): View more from California

  I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator. (714): I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so. http://tfl.nu/zh00
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla. http://tfl.nu/iq92
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (214)

Randomize