; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
