My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.