Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night

(1-404): View more from Georgia

haha good one..how did you even know?

(404): View more from Georgia

we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

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(404): FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night (1-404): haha good one..how did you even know? (404): we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck. http://tfl.nu/dmh7

Replies (46) Good night (5053) Bad night (1300)
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(510): View more from California

It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...

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(510): It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house... http://tfl.nu/3wgf

Replies (6) Good night (3378) Bad night (563)
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(631): View more from New York

Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson

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(631): Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson http://tfl.nu/hv6u

Replies (27) Good night (704) Bad night (2584)
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(858): View more from California

Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

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(858): Why do you apologize after every time we have sex? http://tfl.nu/3g2b

Replies (27) Good night (702) Bad night (8287)
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(305): View more from Florida

Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.

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(305): Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after. http://tfl.nu/e8fo

Replies (9) Good night (913) Bad night (2217)
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(758): View more from St. Lucia-Carib

He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.

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(758): He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out. http://tfl.nu/nx2b

Replies (2) Good night (2340) Bad night (974)
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(716): View more from New York

Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?

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(716): Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country? http://tfl.nu/yu48

Replies (7) Good night (3536) Bad night (840)
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(404): View more from Georgia

FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.

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(404): FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall. http://tfl.nu/m2zy

Replies (7) Good night (3157) Bad night (708)
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(917): View more from New York City

I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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(917): I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration. http://tfl.nu/hksr

Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (1644)
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(519): View more from Ontario

The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs

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(519): The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs http://tfl.nu/wzfm

Replies (4) Good night (1400) Bad night (573)
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(914): View more from New York

Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.

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(914): Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt. http://tfl.nu/ro8e

Replies (4) Good night (1352) Bad night (380)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.

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(414): i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down. http://tfl.nu/jxq4

Replies (9) Good night (1107) Bad night (673)
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(360): View more from Washington

I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off

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(360): I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off http://tfl.nu/h8mk

Replies (11) Good night (2174) Bad night (510)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.

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(502): got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood. http://tfl.nu/bzvq

Replies (8) Good night (1408) Bad night (540)
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(435): View more from Utah

I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!

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(435): I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ljj

Replies (12) Good night (1963) Bad night (369)

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