Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

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  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (54) Good night (27863) Bad night (2838)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.

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  (601): Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away. http://tfl.nu/uxou
  Replies (60) Good night (3537) Bad night (689)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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  (443): Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help? http://tfl.nu/kek4
  Replies (8) Good night (1273) Bad night (2940)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

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  (307): Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding. http://tfl.nu/82eq
  Replies (10) Good night (4434) Bad night (696)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.

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  (803): She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient. http://tfl.nu/2q61
  Replies (22) Good night (5286) Bad night (1169)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

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  (573): They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/azqc
  Replies (5) Good night (3483) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted

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  (303): My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/ipi0
  Replies (8) Good night (4081) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  No...this little piggys going to the bar

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  (818): No...this little piggys going to the bar http://tfl.nu/e3y1
  Replies (5) Good night (1707) Bad night (500)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"

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  (207): The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!" http://tfl.nu/cz9e
  Replies (6) Good night (466) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use

  (716): View more from New York

  how?

  (585): View more from New York

  not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days

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  (585): just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use (716): how? (585): not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days http://tfl.nu/m616
  Replies (12) Good night (2081) Bad night (580)
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  (818): View more from California

  the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes

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  (818): the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes http://tfl.nu/djiq
  Replies (2) Good night (1089) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

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  (563): I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast http://tfl.nu/ae47
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time

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  (859): Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time http://tfl.nu/a2fb
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.

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  (702): Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird. http://tfl.nu/0bqw
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!

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  (603): Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless! http://tfl.nu/bxxj
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (306)

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