yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
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In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!