i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
