omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?