Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  3:26am: come over

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over

  (248): View more from Michigan

  4:11am: mnlodp

  (847): View more from Illinois

  dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over

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  (248) 3:26am: come over (847): you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over (248) 4:11am: mnlodp (847): dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over http://tfl.nu/tbh5
  Replies (7) Good night (2024) Bad night (1101)
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  (212): View more from New York

  guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME

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  (212): guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME http://tfl.nu/dcck
  Replies (5) Good night (1413) Bad night (765)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb

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  (856): you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb http://tfl.nu/benk
  Replies (34) Good night (4344) Bad night (1227)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Cure to hiccups..road head..high five

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  (905): Cure to hiccups..road head..high five http://tfl.nu/bsv1
  Replies (28) Good night (4921) Bad night (648)
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  (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

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  (714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt
  Replies (57) Good night (14131) Bad night (5494)
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  (044): View more from

  I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.

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  (044): I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks. http://tfl.nu/8eb6
  Replies (8) Good night (1729) Bad night (1421)
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  (+33): View more from France

  I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."

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  (+33): I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes." http://tfl.nu/b971
  Replies (4) Good night (1915) Bad night (839)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.

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  (843): I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are. http://tfl.nu/lq46
  Replies (4) Good night (2293) Bad night (809)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?

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  (757): Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness? http://tfl.nu/5dab
  Replies (24) Good night (1648) Bad night (546)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  DR UNK TOWN USA

  (770): View more from Georgia

  TEAM USA GO AMERICA

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  (770): DR UNK TOWN USA (770): TEAM USA GO AMERICA http://tfl.nu/6sjd
  Replies (3) Good night (1061) Bad night (546)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious

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  (225): Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious http://tfl.nu/iev4
  Replies (0) Good night (957) Bad night (458)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell

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  (306): I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell http://tfl.nu/ue80
  Replies (8) Good night (780) Bad night (333)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.

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  (404): Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip. http://tfl.nu/cx8v
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (697)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE

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  (574): When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE http://tfl.nu/ak6a
  Replies (5) Good night (1023) Bad night (320)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.

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  (412): Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me. http://tfl.nu/sz0n
  Replies (0) Good night (308) Bad night (514)

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