Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
