CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
