theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
