hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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