found the other keg... it's in the tree
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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