Quick, to the slutcave!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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