I think i sorta joined a cult last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
