she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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