Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
