ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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