He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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