After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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