You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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