listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
