I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
4 words: hood of his car
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
