I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she told me i tasted like america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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