i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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