people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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