I CAN MOONWALK!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
cat food counts as protein by the way
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
