Well apparently he's into motor boating.
how can u be prego again
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize