Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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