Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
