i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
