His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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