Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
