How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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