apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
