Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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