I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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