why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
