waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
