Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
