alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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