life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
