Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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