Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
